Wedding Etiquette – Should You or Shouldn’t You?

thank you box

Have you ever wondered about wedding etiquette, or what’s appropriate or not appropriate when you’re planning your wedding? Don’t let the faux-pas of weddings keep you up at night! Here are a few things to think about when it comes to the do’s and don’ts on all things wedding:

  • Who should be the first to know about your engagement? Always call your family and your close friends to tell them you’re engaged before posting on social media. An engagement is exciting news, and you’ll want to share it with those closest to you first and personally vs. online.

  • How long do I have to send a thank you note after the wedding? Although some say that you have a year after your wedding to send out the thank you cards, it’s best to send it out as soon as possible, ideally within three months after the wedding. You want to make sure to express your gratitude to guests for the gifts they have given you for your nuptials.

  • Should you include registry information on your wedding invitations? I would say no to this one. A wedding invitation should just include the details of the wedding.

  • If you know someone cannot attend the wedding should you send an invite anyway? In terms of wedding etiquette, some say that an invitation comes with the expectation of a gift. If you know that a person cannot attend, sending the invite will infer that you are looking for a gift from the guest. However, I tend to think that it shows respect to still send an invite to the guest, regardless of whether you know if they are coming or not.

  • Should you invite people to the wedding shower/
    bachelorette/bachelor party if they are not invited to the wedding? No. If you don’t plan on inviting certain guests to the wedding, then I would recommend not inviting them to the shower/bachelorette/bachelor party either. Otherwise, it will look as though you are just inviting them for the gifts.

  • How long should you give people to RSVP to your wedding? Assuming you have sent your invites out at least 6- 8 weeks before the wedding, wedding etiquette says that giving your guests 4 to 5 weeks to respond to the RSVP is an appropriate amount of time. Also, if you include postage on the invitations you send out, the chances of getting an RSVP on time will be higher.

  • Is it proper wedding etiquette to give your wedding party a gift? It’s customary in many cultures to provide the members of the wedding party a nice gift for standing up in the wedding.

  • Should you pay for your bridesmaid’s wedding dresses? In some cultures, wedding etiquette dictates that the bride and groom pay for the dresses/garments of the wedding party as the costs can be expensive to be in the wedding party. If that is not the case, and you expect the bridal party to pay for their own dresses, be cognizant of the bridal party’s financial situation and make sure you let them know how much it will cost.

  • Am I expected to invite all my coworkers to my wedding? Inviting coworkers to your wedding is entirely up to you. You could invite only the team you work on to the wedding or choose a select few from the company that you consider to be friends. Or, if you want it to be just close friends and family, then you could just exclude co-workers from the list of invitees. It’s your special day, and your decision!

  • If someone asks me to be in their wedding, do I have to ask them to be in mine? Again, this depends entirely on you. Don’t feel obligated to invite anyone that you don’t feel should be at your wedding. Weddings can be expensive, and each couple has their own budget.

  • I’m paying for the wedding, how can I tell my parents I don’t want to invite certain people? If you’re paying for the wedding, then it is up to you who you should invite to the wedding. You can always set aside a number of spots for your parents’ guests or you can advise them that if they want those individuals to attend the wedding, then they will have to pay for the headcount.

Wedding planning can be stressful and thinking about wedding etiquette or having a few guidelines on wedding faux pas can help you decide on what to do for some of the key decisions that you’ll be making on your special day. All couples are different and may have different views on what is appropriate/not appropriate. At the end of the day, if you do what’ right for you and you spouse-to-be, then you can’t go wrong!

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